Sunday, May 22, 2011

Young Women's Sexuality

I'm sure there were mothers 30 years ago who would have been appalled at their daughter's choice of apparel.  That is a common complaint of all mothers.  But I think I can safely say that this generation has gone too far.  Now you can buy padded bras for 8 year olds, low-cut jeans that have to be pulled up often, and dresses to short to squat in.  As one writer for my local paper said : "But it's parents who hold the purchasing power when their kids are young, so if they don't want their 7- and 8-year-olds in padded bikini tops, they shouldn't buy those bathing suits. It's up to parents to hold the line..."  It is very true!  If there weren't morons buying this stuff, it would not be sold.  A parent can stand their ground and say 'No!' when their pre-pubescent daughter begs for the latest 'Miley Cyrus' fashion.

Now, wait just a minute.  I know you are going to catalogue me as one of those up-tight, anti-sexuality, ultra-conservative moms who want my daughters to wear floor-length dresses and braided hair.  Let me make on thing perfectly clear:  I am a Pagan.  As a Pagan, I believe in the stages of life.  For a woman, the stages are maiden, mother, and crone.  As a maiden, you have innocence.  This is the stage of your life when you live carefree and plain.  You are learning about life from your mother 'hopefully'.  In todays society, too many mothers are taking a hands off approach and are letting their daughters be raised by 'Teen Mom' and 'The Jershey Shore'.  Just the thought makes me sick.  When a maiden becomes a mother, she has learned the basics of life and is ready to embrace the new stage.  But do not interpret this as meaning actual motherhood.  In most cases, the earliest phase simply means the nurturing stage.  A young maiden has become a woman and begins to explore those more passionate feelings.  Passion can take many forms.  To be passionate is to want something so much that you would do anything within reason to get it.  Its not necessarily a sexual thing.

However, this is not a ticket for sex.  When a woman enters this stage, I believe that she can have fantasies, but I do not think that sexual relations should develop at such an early age.  When I see young girls wearing a padded bra or string bikini, I see a defiance for the laws of nature.  I see pedophilia being enabled and encouraged.  Even if you are not a Pagan, you can plainly see that a woman reaches different stages of her life at different times.  Its universal knowledge.  When a woman is mature enough and established in her own life, then she can seek the companionship that sexuality brings.  Relationships take a lot of work.

Sadly, this new generation lacks maturity.  When I became sexually active, it wasn't uncommon for women to be more mature.  What has happened to this generation?  Young girls are idolizing 15 and 16 year old tramps who got pregnant because they niavely thought that you couldn't get pregnant on their periods or some other stupid idea.  Nonetheless, they got pregnant and had a child for no other reason than to keep their boyfriends, or sympathy, or simply to pass around a helpless and adorable child so people could 'oh' and 'ah' at it.  They have no idea that the child will soon grow up and require more guidance and affection than that teenager is willing to give.  By nature, teenagers are selfish creatures and are not capable of compassion.

I hope that I have the right idea and that when my girls come of age, I am able to explain what sexuality is in a way that will glorify it as my faith says, but also to learn to control it and use it only when it is appropriate.  It is the most sacred thing we have.


  1. Wow, what a great post. In the be free pagan community sometimes it's a tough line to draw on this issue but I believe you put it beautifully. My daughter isn't even 1 but I hope I'll remember and think on this when she gets older.

  2. Wonderful post! Don't forget that in this day and age of available contraception that a lot of girls still don't use it. They haven't had the sex talk with their parents, or if they have (like my niece), the parents have told them that they don't "need" condoms or BCPs because they're not allowed to have sex anyway. This is more naive than the girls having sex and thinking they won't get pregnant ever. Teens are going to have sex. If we don't want them to be Teen Moms (and sadly some people DO want to be teen moms) then we need to put aside any squeamishness and buy them what they need to stay safe. Not only that, but parents need to tell their daughters to use the phrase "no glove, no love" to stay safe from STDs as well as pregnancy and that if a guy won't wear one, then he's not worthy of sex.

    I'm lucky in the respect that I have boys to raise, but I fully intend on helping them be informed and making sure that they have access to condoms. I don't want my boys to be Teen Dads.

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  4. Great post. It's so annoying that MTV has shows like Teen Mom's--I don't see that as being birth control. I see a young girl going, "I want to be on TV, too!" It does make me think about when I have children. Boy or girl, they're going to have a childhood. That doesn't mean skanky clothes and shows, and reading young adult books aimed at romance. That means dressing your age, reading age appropriate books, and being a kid!

    Personally, I grew up on horror movies and reading Anne Rice, so hearing about your children watching T2 doesn't effect me. Different kids can handle different things, as long as the parents are strong and smart about educating their children.

    I started my period when I was 9, but I didn't lose my virginity until I was 23. I viewed my body as a sacred temple, and I hope I can instill that same thought into my children's minds as well. My mom was very open about sex, unlike most parents. She even taught me how to give a BJ. She's not a horrible mother, she's realistic. She was a teen mom, and encouraged me to "test the field". Which I didn't. My husband is the one I lost my virginity to (we even waited a year, b/c I wanted to ake sure he was the one), but I still appreciated her lessons. It's important to also not instill double standards on your kids. Girls can get pregnant, but Boys impregnate them!

  5. This will come as blunt and shocking to a lot of people ... I am Eternal Storm's husband ...

    I am a man in my mid 30's, and she was my first and only. I am agnostic/liberal and a metal head. I didn't lost it until late 20's, now this is the shocking part since it is widely accepted that no man ever leaves the "teen" years w/o at least a kiss. Well that guys was me, I went through college, traveled Europe, and even shared bed with two young women (+21), but never tried anything. Since religion was not an issue and honestly I have never believed in AIDS (long story) many that ever find out about this see me as some sort of freak. I have never been "sexually confused" or "uninterested", but there was always something blocking me from getting anywhere. I have always called it True Conviction and Virtue, this I value, this I profess, this I defend. Respect of the self and others. Understanding of circumstance and karma. Love for the sake of loving, freely, without strings or traps. Courage to face yourself in the mirror and know that you are doing it right. These values and convictions are part of the education I am passing down to my daughters, and I know it is working. Sadly I am but an errand knight in this dark world in search of the few pockets of light and coherence...