Monday, September 5, 2011

Before I Was a Mom

It seems that 9 out of every 10 women in my life are pregnant.  It makes me remember all of the joys a new life can bring, as well as the challenges.  It also makes me miss my reproductive days.  I am not old, but I have the inability to create new life.  I do have two amazing daughters who I love more and more every day, so I give thanks for that.  Before my first daughter was born, I found this poem and I didn't fully understand then just how to true it was.  I used the poem as a favor at my baby shower.  I have included the poem below in italics and between each line, I have added my thoughts.
                                                    Before I Was A Mom

Before I was a Mom I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed.

Well, I sleep a little later now that the girls are aged 7 and 5 years.  If I sleep a little bit later than normal, they make a bowl of cereal for breakfast.  But I still cannot manage to sleep later than 7:30 am every morning.   I do stay up later at night than I used to, but 11 seems to be the latest.

I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday. 

Yes, this is one that never changed.  I brush my teeth compulsively, twice a day.  Now sometimes my hair doesn't get the same treatment, but I have mastered the art of the ponytail.

Before I was a Mom I cleaned my house each day. 

This one is also true.  I didn't realize how clean my house could actually be until both children began full-day school.  My house was always health-inspection clean, but it was disorganized and there were things lying everywhere!  But, the first week of school I enjoyed a quiet I haven't experienced in many years.  And my house became so clean, but the greatest part was that it actually stayed clean all week!  Until the weekend...

I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 

I still trip over toys, skates, shoes, backpacks, you name it.  I still don't know all the words to some lullabies, although luckily my children were more than content with Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 

I wish I had the house that had plants everywhere, but I cannot seem to keep them alive.  It doesn't help that the entire first floor of my house has only three windows, one in the laundry room and the other two face the street.

I never thought about immunizations. 

I don't know who this hurts the most, me or the kids.  I hate watching them get the shots, but I have endured because I would rather a few hours of irritation than months of a horrible disease.

Before I was a Mom I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Spit on. Chewed on. Peed on. 

Its amazing how strong you become after enduring that.  I could probably watch open heart surgery now!  And what is with the burp clothes that they sell nowadays??  They are far too small to catch everything! 

I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.....
I slept all night. 

Oh, I have control of my mind and thoughts, although somewhat scattered.  And I haven't slept all night in years.  Its that compulsive mother in me.

Before I was a Mom I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests. Or give shots.

This ties in with the immunizations.  And the dentist visits.  Its horrible but necessary.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

Seeing a baby cry is one of the saddest things, but I know I have to power to ease their suffering.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I get the giggles when my children say or do something funny.  And when they were babies, I took great joy in every little thing they did.

I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

I still do that, day or night.  A sleeping child is the epitome of peace and beauty.

Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.

I wish I had never sat my sleeping babies down.  They grew up too fast and I miss the feel of a little life in my arms.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.

Not being able to stop their suffering makes you feel helpless and useless.  Its a horrible feeling.

I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.

Its amazing how much your life changes after you have a child, and after they are a little older, you forget what life was like before they came along.

I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

You don't think you could love one person (or more) so much, but its amazingly possible.

Before I was a Mom I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.

I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or a working mother, you still get the amazing feeling of feeding a small innocent child.  Its a small miracle that never ceases to amaze.  The bond between a mother and child is an unbreakable bond.

Before I was a Mom I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom. 

I have to constantly remind myself that being a mother is a noble profession.  It doesn't offer great pay, benefits, insurance, sick pay, or vacations.  But the education a mother gives to her children determines the next generation, and that generation can be successful and productive if given the right upbringing.  Otherwise, the next generation will stagnate and be nothing.

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