Sunday, December 26, 2010

Its Been A Long Time

I have rediscovered my blog! I cannot believe it has been over a year since I last wrote here. I think I need to start writing again, I really need it. In an effort to shorten the update of the last year, I am going to make a list of everything that has happened over the last year and if you want to know more specifics, drop me a line.
I last wrote in August 2009. It is now December 2010, the day after Christmas.
We moved out of our small 1 bedroom apartment and into a 2 bedroom row house with a yard and a finished attic, now I am much more comfortable.
My oldest daughter survived kindergarten and did very well academically. Her PTSD gave us some trouble, but she has responded well to therapy. My youngest daughter is in her second year of Head Start and she loves school. It will be her turn for kindergarten next year and she is as excited as I am. In November of this year, my brother Robert committed suicide. Two weeks ago, my Aunt died from brain cancer. She was only diagnosed a few months ago, and it had an almost immediate effect. So with all of the grief I have endured, it wasn't a very nice Christmas. I just got over a stomach virus, so I spent part of the day in bed, feeling sad and too tired to do much of anything.

Over the last year, I attended therapy on a weekly basis and I attended a support group for women with depression. Everything was going great and I felt for the first time in years that I had my depression under control. I quite taking medication about a year ago in an effort to conceive child number three. Now, a year later I have learned that I have a condition called PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and my chances of having a child are next to nothing. I have also had to quite therapy since my health insurance has ran out and there is no cheap insurance available. And my support group is also no more, since I cannot take my children with me and I have no one available to watch them. My husband switched jobs, which makes us more or less financially stable, but still underemployed.

My children are more or less behaved. Their behavior has improved over this last year, and there are slightly more respondent to simple requests made of them and they help me more around the house. They are even excited sometimes to learn how to do new things like dishes or helping me cook. My little one Selene is especially helpful and has such a beautiful heart. She will serve people drinks, even if they don't ask for them, and she will defend her older sister will a fierceness that is very becoming of her warrior side. She is my little Valkyrie. I am proud of the way my girls are growing up. There is still much to teach them and many dangers in the world to prepare them for.

I know that 2011 will be a much better year, and I see myself doing great things next year. When the girls start school in the fall, I will be going to college to study Respiratory Therapy, which after two years can land me in a career make 50K a year. I cannot wait to finally break the chains of poverty. I deserve it!

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