Monday, January 3, 2011

Some Days, I Really Hate My Life

Today was one of those days.  I have been sick since Christmas Eve and without health insurance I cannot even go to the doctor.  So I have been trying to use a combination of Pepto, chicken brother, and rest.  It was okay over the holiday because I had the time I needed to rest.  There were days I could get out of bed and do stuff and other days where I was either confined to the bedroom or the bathroom.  Well today was just a sad sign of things to come. 

I am the only person in my household who drives.  My husband knows vaguely how to drive, but he doesn't not have a license.  I have been okay with doing all of the driving because it means that I have the car in case of emergencies.  But today, I just needed to rest.

I went to the grocery store and I felt like I was going to faint.  To make matters worse, the cashier was very slow in ringing up my order.  I have been a cashier before, so I usually cut them some slack but today I felt like death was breathing down my neck and all I wanted to do was finish up and drop my husband at work so I could go home and lay down.  I didn't have many things, and half of it was WIC.  Now, in case you don't know the WIC voucher procedure, its simple.  You take the WIC voucher, make sure it is still valid by verifying the dates.  Next you check the items you have with the items on the voucher.  You enter the "First Day of Use" and then the "Last Day of Use".  Then you scan the items, write the value on the voucher and done.  All I had was 2 gallons of milk, and $6 worth of fruit.  This guy took 20 minutes to figure out my WIC, and this was before he even touched my other items.  I was standing there the whole time trying not to pass out.  I was with my little daughter Selene who is only 4 and I don't want to know what would happen if I fainted in the store.  My husband was over in the customer service counter, so I was alone.  He finally finished ringing me up and I hurried out of there as fast as I could wobble.  I took my husband to work and went straight home.  I took my remedy of chicken broth and laid down.

The point of this rant is that some days, I am tired of being the only one who manages the entire household.  Errands, bills, to and from school/work, more errands, more things to do.  And I do them single-handedly, which is usually fine.  But when I am this sick, the world does not stop for me.  I must do my duties, no matter how badly I feel.  Its despairing to me and I hate it.

Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

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